Belle Alatorre discussed the experience of creating her business card.
|
|
Interview Summary
This person created a unique business card artwork. The card tied back to themselves, their roots, and their mom, by asking those around them, how they viewed this person. Sow, when they created the illustrations on the front; for example, they added a Bell for their first name, Belle. They added a cactus as it reminds them of both their mom and them because they’re both resilient and grew up in Mexico. They added in angel numbers and a stolen memory because they believe that since memories can be stolen, to make every day an experience. They study curanderismo, which is a traditional Mexican American healing system, and they like tarot, so this artwork combines both in a subtle way.
This artwork is the most representative of themselves, so it is very special to them. This person wanted to create something that was full of them and gave everyone a gist of who they are as a person. They were sitting down in their living room with their roommate and asking for feedback through Instagram and google sheets. They felt comfortable creating this artwork because they did not realize how much everything was so personal to them. They completed a lot of shadow work and internal thinking, and when they started the business card, they got a better understanding of who they are.
They learned a lot about themselves, their artwork showcased their own energy. Everyone liked their artwork and were shocked at the details. They did not think of anyone else while creating their artwork. This person feels as if they were giving their full authentic self during the process. Being able to express a side of them with the loteria card symbolized their generational trauma.
After the creation, things were lining up confirming that the artwork they created. This person was 19 years old when they created this artwork and believe the quality to still need some work. At the time, this person was seeing a therapist and was going through a heartbreak at the time. Being able to create something so uplifting and heartwarming made them happy.
Interview Transcript
Interviewer: Okay. So, in the interview we're interested in asking you to tell us about an artwork that you created and ask you to describe the experience in detail.
Participant: The artwork that I’m going to be talking about is I made myself a little business card and the business card involved me kind of asking everyone around about how they viewed me.
And then also figuring out how that related to how I viewed myself.
Then creating a piece that tied back to me, my roots, my mom, and just everything.
Participant: So, the front of my business card, I chose it because it's kind of a loteria.
It's a Mexican bingo basically you get these little pieces of cards to come up, say what it is, and then a little illustration. But then also reminds me of tarot cards. and so and I really enjoy doing tarot. Which is why I put the two of speakers. It's a minor arcana card and then I myself I’m a sound designer. So, I had 2 little speakers next to it and then, the mushroom, I love being seen as a mushroom. I think it's such a cute little thing. So, I do my makeup that all the time, if you can see the inside of it, and then my eyes are green, and then I play with the hearts under my eyes, and then, my name is Bell. So, the top of the mushroom is a bell shape.
Then I put some angel numbers around, and then I also put my little fader up and down, saying, or cause when you're doing sound. There are little faders that you have to maneuver, so I wanted to draw one in, but it was supposed to represent both a tarot card. And loteria.
Interviewer: Great. Thank you! Are there any other details that you wanted to mention about?
Participant: Yeah, I wanted the front, the back to be the major arcana. So, I put 2. I asked everyone how they viewed me, so I was getting mushrooms, the color pink and yellow, and different things like that. And so, I specifically asked my mom what things remind you of the both of us, and she said, I think like cactus really reminds of both of us because we're both resilient, and also cactus is grown as well in Mexico.
And then she also used to cook a lot of cactus for us. in Spanish. They're called nopales. And the color yellow reminds me of her, and it was also something that reminded people of me. So down here I drew a little cactus with little yellow flowers around and then I also put myself as a designer rather than like sound designer, because I feel like, even though no matter the stuff that I do is really like to design experiences.
So, I really wanted to showcase that, and it's kind of just like a subtle way of showing the type of person that I am especially. I feel like with something so personal as a business card you want people to just like not get the just to like just me, but a piece of art with it. And then I also I put angel numbers to 2 to 2, because when I had to make them, it was really relevant in my life. Numbers change throughout the course of my life. So right now they're currently 5, 5, 5, which is like changes coming. So, it's really nice to put those little things. And then at the top. I used stolen memory because I kind of branded myself with that. And when I was younger I've had that for like about 8 years now.
And it's because I really like the ideas that memories can't be stolen. Since memories can be stolen. You make every day an experience. And so, everything that I do is trying to be an experience. I want to put my full effort into everything. It's a cute little business card to me. I put so much time, effort, and thought into everything that went into it.
Interviewer: Thanks so much for describing all of those details. So, why did you choose this one? (Specialness)
Participant: I feel this artwork is the most representation of myself. I study curanderismo, which is Mexican healing, and I also talk about tarot. I use that part of myself, and its separate kind of from my art. Sometimes I feel like it is, but I always have that lens on. But this kind of showed a piece of both sides, like my art side, and then also the side of me that practices brujeria, which is Mexican witchcraft. And so, I really wanted to combine those 2, but in a subtle way, and I felt like this. One was the best one.
Interviewer: Great! So, now please tell me about the experience and process of creating this artwork by answering some questions. You talked about this already a little bit, but I wondered if you wanted to expand it all on what led up to the interaction? What motivated you to explore the piece?
Participant: Yeah, the thing that motivated me to create this was that I felt like I wanted to create a business card for myself to start taking myself more seriously in the arts. because I am a senior. So, I was like, okay, I'm going to graduate and like go out into the world. and everything just seems so bland, even the stuff that goes into sound just felt so bland, and I felt like nothing represented me, and what I like, what I bring to the table. And so, I really wanted to create something that was full Me and that kind of gave everyone a gist of like who I am, and I don't know. I end all my emails with like the date that, like whatever the moon is in.
Interviewer: Great Thank you. And then, was there something that you wanted or needed to be expressed through this artwork
Participant: Yeah, I really felt I needed to put the angel numbers in there.
I really wanted to showcase like. Well, that's why I also pick 2 of speakers, because, like the number 2, is really like vibrating with me, and I love numerology.
I kind of surrounded everything around that. That's why, like the front of its 2 speakers, and in the back the 2, and then in tarot the high priest is number 2 like on the tarot cart. So I myself just kind of was like this is something that I really want to center around. I feel like the second card of every day, and the 2 cups of to like the 2 pentacles. All of the cards that are number 2 are really important to me, and I feel like I really resonate to. So, I wanted to create my card, being like the 2 of everything.
Interviewer: Thank you. So, can you talk a little bit about when and where did the interaction happen? And if anyone was involved besides you?
Participant: Yeah, the work happened mainly in the comfort of my own home. Luckily. it was like I had used Photoshop kind of like once or twice before.
But I was sitting down in my living room and my roommate, I would ask, like them all the time like, how do I use this tool. And then I had put up a Google sheet or one of those like answer questions on Instagram but yeah, like feedback. And I was just like I like what things and colors and stuff remind you of me, and whatever I felt that really resonated with me, and that was me, and like, overlooked with the way that I viewed myself is how I put it in and it was nice because I realized that a lot of the stuff that people viewed me as the way that I viewed myself.
Which is really cool, and I really appreciate that.
Interviewer: Oh, that's great. So, can you talk a little bit about what were you thinking and feeling at different times throughout the process of interacting with the artwork?
Participant: Yeah, I felt really comfortable. I want to say when I was doing this, because I didn't realize how much everything was just so personal to me, and it felt like me and like a big part of my practice, and everything that I do is a lot of like leading up to this. I didn't really know myself.
So, I did a lot of like shadow work, and like internal thinking, and once I got to like starting to make this piece in particular. I had a better understanding of who I was, and a better understanding of like how I wanted to portray myself. So, it was nice to build on something that was a like a real reflection of me.
It felt like I was building a mirror which was really nice, because I was able to just be like this is me and like this is how like not only how I want to be viewed, but how I am viewed.
Interviewer: Great. Thank you. And then would you like to describe any high points, low points, or challenges, or turning points along the way?
Participant: Yeah, I think a very big high point was after I created it. Everything kind of just like lined up into place. I really I bought. I got the cards like I found a place that would do the cards glossy on both sides, and like with rounded edges, and I would have to go and pick them up like 30 min to an hour away. but they ended up being like for 250. I think it was like 20 like there was a sale, and they didn't have them ready the day that I was going to go get them.
So instead, they were like. We're so sorry about this. We're going to ship them to you. And I was like that's perfect, like I’m glad, and I didn't need them right away. And then, because I also felt that they gave me an extra 50 cards, so like it was supposed to be 250, and it was like 300.
The universe is like this is for you. This is your path. And then it just felt like everything just kept lining up everything. If there were any like obstacles. It was to make the experience better. It just all felt like everything just kept lining up, and that's all I can really ask for.
Interviewer: Sure. Let's talk about the impact of the artwork on you and your life.
What did you learn from the process of interacting with the artwork? Did you learn anything about yourself?
Participant: I mean yes and no. I think the thing that I learned was more of how others viewed me. I feel like a lot of times. People don't really know who they are, and then a lot of times. People don't know how they're portrayed. But I kept getting told like around like everyone is just like you're just so much yourself like that's one thing that I kept hearing like I was just you.
And then people wouldn't say like these are things that remind me of you. They would say, like, these are things that are you? And I felt like I was just like a true embodiment of like what the things were on here. So that was really like. I really enjoyed that.
Interviewer: And then you already started talking about this? But how did others receive the artwork and what were their reactions? Do you think the artist intended to affect others or the world in any particular ways?
Participant: Everyone really liked the artwork. in fact, every time I give out my business card people would just be so in shock, they'd be like Well, this is like a piece of art, and they're like, I don't like I never want to like. Throw this Pete like away, and I’m like great like. I want you to like keep it, and it's something that I put so much time into it.
I just kind of wanted people to be willing to accept like fully me, and I feel like when people take the artwork, and they're like, oh, my God, this is so great!
There isn't like any judgment. Usually everyone's just like this Looks so cool like, what does it mean, or they ask about it, and I get to do like a tiny little spiel. But it's something crazy. and so yeah, it's nice the way people receive it. But it's also nice that, like I get to also just like talk about what I do, and it's a new little way of like, instead of like open, openly going up to people and being like, hey, this is what I do.
Interviewer: Nice. And then did your experience affect your understanding of others or the world.
Participant: I think I kind of just came into my own little world while I was doing it. So I didn't really think about others in the world.
I always think about others and the world. I just want to preface that. But this is kind of like the one time where I was able to just be with myself and with everything about me, and I just ground myself to like who I am and what I want to portray. So it was nice to kind of step away from other people for a moment.
Interviewer: Great. when some people think about themselves, they see some parts of themselves as deeply true, real, or authentic. If this idea resonates with you. Did you learn anything about your true nature during the process? Did you have any insights about your own authentic (or
inauthentic) self?
Participant: Yeah, I felt that I was giving my full authentic self, and I felt that I still feel that even though people change and grow, and go to who they like, you know, over time you evolve and figure out yourself that at the end of the day, wholeheartedly, this is who I am. I feel like when you're looking at this like this is what the energy is that I’m going to bring into a room. It’s kind of something that I want people to know ahead of time.
You don't get someone that's going to be quiet, and you don't get someone that's going to like stick to themselves. I'm definitely going to make some noise, and I’m definitely going to like talk about what I believe, and I'm going to create an experience for everyone, because that's something that I live by. So that's what I learned about myself or like. That's how I felt like it was so authentic to me.
Interviewer: Great, and then some people believe in ultimate meaning. This is defined as deep underlying meaning that transcends subjective personal meaning. It is about the nature of existence and identity.
It may include ideas about the significance of suffering as well as spirituality.
If this idea resonates with you, did you learn anything about ultimate meaning during the process?
Participant: It's really nice to so like my mom is an immigrant from Mexico and I don't speak to my dad at all. So there's like a lot of like generational trauma that people deal with. And there's a lot of the times where, like I kind of other people in the room won’t understand anything that I've gone through. And then, like just in general, your brain is re like your blood and brain is like wired differently because of generational trauma but being able to express that side of me that’s, Mexican with the loteria cards, and then also with the tarot in the back of the card.
I do study like curanderismo which is healing, and, like I use part I use like who I am, as well to like, heal myself, and you know others around, and like little like plants like in Earth, because everyone kept seeing plants, and I didn't know how plans fully fit in this. And I love plans, too. But I do use like plans and herbs to like to heal myself and heal others by adding that little Nopa on with the little flowers on it.
This was just like a subtle way of being like I’m there. And this is what I do.
Interviewer: Great. Thank you. and then so some people believe or perceive a reality, beyond the physical or material world.
This may include religious beliefs and experiences, such as perceived in interactions with God, that may also include mystical or transcendent experiences or interactions with spirits.
Did you have any of these kinds of experiences during the creation of this our work. Any Perceptions of reality beyond the physical world?
Participant: It wasn't during the creation. It was after the creation of this artwork. I felt like things just kept lining up, and I kept meeting people that were important to me. I met someone from a show, and she was like, oh, I’m always looking for people like that, and I said, oh here’s my business card in case you want to like, look more into it, and, I only happen to have one on me that day. We ended up following each other, and she came to one of my shows, and she had offered me a job, but like things just kind of like kept lighting up afterwards. I'll meet someone and at an event afterwards recently, and like she was one of the only people, and she's like, oh, My God! I don't have my phone with me, and she's like, I wish I had my physical like business cards. She's like, but look me up, and I gave her a business card, and she was like, oh, my God, this is what I needed. I needed something like this and then she was like, if you're ever in New York, or if you ever need a job after you graduate like, let me know.
And so, it's just kind of like little things like that that after like afterwards, things just kind of line up lined up for me, and even during the process, when or like, when I got them printed, and like they were running late by like a day, and then they gave me free ones and stuff like that, like everything just kind of kept lining up. And that's what I felt like. I was like, okay, this is like met for me.
Interviewer: Sure. How did that experience effect you as a person and your spiritual beliefs?
Participant: I'm a very big person on signs, so if things just keep getting in the way of something I know everyone's like Don't give up, but like I will because I don't think it's meant for me, and during this process, like everything just kept lining up for me. the adobe creative cloud was also like not supposed to work for me for somebody, because I was using it for school, but we were on break.
It was supposed to stop, and they kept it running for a little bit, so I was able to do it in the comfort of my own home and everything, and things just kept lining up. And so I felt like I knew it was for me.
Interviewer: Great. Thank you. I just have a few shorter follow-up questions. How old were you when you created this?
Participant: Yeah, I was 19 years old.
Interviewer: And how do you perceive the quality of this artwork?
Participant: I would say, still unfinished. I feel like it was very early work, Photoshop and early me, so I still feel like it has some time to grow and change just like I did.
Interviewer: And then, would you like to say anything more about what was going on in your own life around the time that you created the artwork.
Participant: I was going through finally seeing a therapist and getting to understand that, like things weren't my fault, and a lot of things were me figuring out.
I would call my mom and be like. Actually, you know, people are supposed to respect your boundaries and then she was learning a lot about that, too, because she was treating me the way that she was being treated, and so it was both of us going through the process of learning a bunch of things. And then I was also going through a really bad heartbreak at the time, and then being stuck in covid isolation. So, it was a lot of not just being stuck with your thoughts.
And the fact that I was able to create something that so uplifting and heartwarming is really it just makes me really happy.
Interviewer: Yeah, that was great. Thank you so much.
This person created a unique business card artwork. The card tied back to themselves, their roots, and their mom, by asking those around them, how they viewed this person. Sow, when they created the illustrations on the front; for example, they added a Bell for their first name, Belle. They added a cactus as it reminds them of both their mom and them because they’re both resilient and grew up in Mexico. They added in angel numbers and a stolen memory because they believe that since memories can be stolen, to make every day an experience. They study curanderismo, which is a traditional Mexican American healing system, and they like tarot, so this artwork combines both in a subtle way.
This artwork is the most representative of themselves, so it is very special to them. This person wanted to create something that was full of them and gave everyone a gist of who they are as a person. They were sitting down in their living room with their roommate and asking for feedback through Instagram and google sheets. They felt comfortable creating this artwork because they did not realize how much everything was so personal to them. They completed a lot of shadow work and internal thinking, and when they started the business card, they got a better understanding of who they are.
They learned a lot about themselves, their artwork showcased their own energy. Everyone liked their artwork and were shocked at the details. They did not think of anyone else while creating their artwork. This person feels as if they were giving their full authentic self during the process. Being able to express a side of them with the loteria card symbolized their generational trauma.
After the creation, things were lining up confirming that the artwork they created. This person was 19 years old when they created this artwork and believe the quality to still need some work. At the time, this person was seeing a therapist and was going through a heartbreak at the time. Being able to create something so uplifting and heartwarming made them happy.
Interview Transcript
Interviewer: Okay. So, in the interview we're interested in asking you to tell us about an artwork that you created and ask you to describe the experience in detail.
Participant: The artwork that I’m going to be talking about is I made myself a little business card and the business card involved me kind of asking everyone around about how they viewed me.
And then also figuring out how that related to how I viewed myself.
Then creating a piece that tied back to me, my roots, my mom, and just everything.
Participant: So, the front of my business card, I chose it because it's kind of a loteria.
It's a Mexican bingo basically you get these little pieces of cards to come up, say what it is, and then a little illustration. But then also reminds me of tarot cards. and so and I really enjoy doing tarot. Which is why I put the two of speakers. It's a minor arcana card and then I myself I’m a sound designer. So, I had 2 little speakers next to it and then, the mushroom, I love being seen as a mushroom. I think it's such a cute little thing. So, I do my makeup that all the time, if you can see the inside of it, and then my eyes are green, and then I play with the hearts under my eyes, and then, my name is Bell. So, the top of the mushroom is a bell shape.
Then I put some angel numbers around, and then I also put my little fader up and down, saying, or cause when you're doing sound. There are little faders that you have to maneuver, so I wanted to draw one in, but it was supposed to represent both a tarot card. And loteria.
Interviewer: Great. Thank you! Are there any other details that you wanted to mention about?
Participant: Yeah, I wanted the front, the back to be the major arcana. So, I put 2. I asked everyone how they viewed me, so I was getting mushrooms, the color pink and yellow, and different things like that. And so, I specifically asked my mom what things remind you of the both of us, and she said, I think like cactus really reminds of both of us because we're both resilient, and also cactus is grown as well in Mexico.
And then she also used to cook a lot of cactus for us. in Spanish. They're called nopales. And the color yellow reminds me of her, and it was also something that reminded people of me. So down here I drew a little cactus with little yellow flowers around and then I also put myself as a designer rather than like sound designer, because I feel like, even though no matter the stuff that I do is really like to design experiences.
So, I really wanted to showcase that, and it's kind of just like a subtle way of showing the type of person that I am especially. I feel like with something so personal as a business card you want people to just like not get the just to like just me, but a piece of art with it. And then I also I put angel numbers to 2 to 2, because when I had to make them, it was really relevant in my life. Numbers change throughout the course of my life. So right now they're currently 5, 5, 5, which is like changes coming. So, it's really nice to put those little things. And then at the top. I used stolen memory because I kind of branded myself with that. And when I was younger I've had that for like about 8 years now.
And it's because I really like the ideas that memories can't be stolen. Since memories can be stolen. You make every day an experience. And so, everything that I do is trying to be an experience. I want to put my full effort into everything. It's a cute little business card to me. I put so much time, effort, and thought into everything that went into it.
Interviewer: Thanks so much for describing all of those details. So, why did you choose this one? (Specialness)
Participant: I feel this artwork is the most representation of myself. I study curanderismo, which is Mexican healing, and I also talk about tarot. I use that part of myself, and its separate kind of from my art. Sometimes I feel like it is, but I always have that lens on. But this kind of showed a piece of both sides, like my art side, and then also the side of me that practices brujeria, which is Mexican witchcraft. And so, I really wanted to combine those 2, but in a subtle way, and I felt like this. One was the best one.
Interviewer: Great! So, now please tell me about the experience and process of creating this artwork by answering some questions. You talked about this already a little bit, but I wondered if you wanted to expand it all on what led up to the interaction? What motivated you to explore the piece?
Participant: Yeah, the thing that motivated me to create this was that I felt like I wanted to create a business card for myself to start taking myself more seriously in the arts. because I am a senior. So, I was like, okay, I'm going to graduate and like go out into the world. and everything just seems so bland, even the stuff that goes into sound just felt so bland, and I felt like nothing represented me, and what I like, what I bring to the table. And so, I really wanted to create something that was full Me and that kind of gave everyone a gist of like who I am, and I don't know. I end all my emails with like the date that, like whatever the moon is in.
Interviewer: Great Thank you. And then, was there something that you wanted or needed to be expressed through this artwork
Participant: Yeah, I really felt I needed to put the angel numbers in there.
I really wanted to showcase like. Well, that's why I also pick 2 of speakers, because, like the number 2, is really like vibrating with me, and I love numerology.
I kind of surrounded everything around that. That's why, like the front of its 2 speakers, and in the back the 2, and then in tarot the high priest is number 2 like on the tarot cart. So I myself just kind of was like this is something that I really want to center around. I feel like the second card of every day, and the 2 cups of to like the 2 pentacles. All of the cards that are number 2 are really important to me, and I feel like I really resonate to. So, I wanted to create my card, being like the 2 of everything.
Interviewer: Thank you. So, can you talk a little bit about when and where did the interaction happen? And if anyone was involved besides you?
Participant: Yeah, the work happened mainly in the comfort of my own home. Luckily. it was like I had used Photoshop kind of like once or twice before.
But I was sitting down in my living room and my roommate, I would ask, like them all the time like, how do I use this tool. And then I had put up a Google sheet or one of those like answer questions on Instagram but yeah, like feedback. And I was just like I like what things and colors and stuff remind you of me, and whatever I felt that really resonated with me, and that was me, and like, overlooked with the way that I viewed myself is how I put it in and it was nice because I realized that a lot of the stuff that people viewed me as the way that I viewed myself.
Which is really cool, and I really appreciate that.
Interviewer: Oh, that's great. So, can you talk a little bit about what were you thinking and feeling at different times throughout the process of interacting with the artwork?
Participant: Yeah, I felt really comfortable. I want to say when I was doing this, because I didn't realize how much everything was just so personal to me, and it felt like me and like a big part of my practice, and everything that I do is a lot of like leading up to this. I didn't really know myself.
So, I did a lot of like shadow work, and like internal thinking, and once I got to like starting to make this piece in particular. I had a better understanding of who I was, and a better understanding of like how I wanted to portray myself. So, it was nice to build on something that was a like a real reflection of me.
It felt like I was building a mirror which was really nice, because I was able to just be like this is me and like this is how like not only how I want to be viewed, but how I am viewed.
Interviewer: Great. Thank you. And then would you like to describe any high points, low points, or challenges, or turning points along the way?
Participant: Yeah, I think a very big high point was after I created it. Everything kind of just like lined up into place. I really I bought. I got the cards like I found a place that would do the cards glossy on both sides, and like with rounded edges, and I would have to go and pick them up like 30 min to an hour away. but they ended up being like for 250. I think it was like 20 like there was a sale, and they didn't have them ready the day that I was going to go get them.
So instead, they were like. We're so sorry about this. We're going to ship them to you. And I was like that's perfect, like I’m glad, and I didn't need them right away. And then, because I also felt that they gave me an extra 50 cards, so like it was supposed to be 250, and it was like 300.
The universe is like this is for you. This is your path. And then it just felt like everything just kept lining up everything. If there were any like obstacles. It was to make the experience better. It just all felt like everything just kept lining up, and that's all I can really ask for.
Interviewer: Sure. Let's talk about the impact of the artwork on you and your life.
What did you learn from the process of interacting with the artwork? Did you learn anything about yourself?
Participant: I mean yes and no. I think the thing that I learned was more of how others viewed me. I feel like a lot of times. People don't really know who they are, and then a lot of times. People don't know how they're portrayed. But I kept getting told like around like everyone is just like you're just so much yourself like that's one thing that I kept hearing like I was just you.
And then people wouldn't say like these are things that remind me of you. They would say, like, these are things that are you? And I felt like I was just like a true embodiment of like what the things were on here. So that was really like. I really enjoyed that.
Interviewer: And then you already started talking about this? But how did others receive the artwork and what were their reactions? Do you think the artist intended to affect others or the world in any particular ways?
Participant: Everyone really liked the artwork. in fact, every time I give out my business card people would just be so in shock, they'd be like Well, this is like a piece of art, and they're like, I don't like I never want to like. Throw this Pete like away, and I’m like great like. I want you to like keep it, and it's something that I put so much time into it.
I just kind of wanted people to be willing to accept like fully me, and I feel like when people take the artwork, and they're like, oh, my God, this is so great!
There isn't like any judgment. Usually everyone's just like this Looks so cool like, what does it mean, or they ask about it, and I get to do like a tiny little spiel. But it's something crazy. and so yeah, it's nice the way people receive it. But it's also nice that, like I get to also just like talk about what I do, and it's a new little way of like, instead of like open, openly going up to people and being like, hey, this is what I do.
Interviewer: Nice. And then did your experience affect your understanding of others or the world.
Participant: I think I kind of just came into my own little world while I was doing it. So I didn't really think about others in the world.
I always think about others and the world. I just want to preface that. But this is kind of like the one time where I was able to just be with myself and with everything about me, and I just ground myself to like who I am and what I want to portray. So it was nice to kind of step away from other people for a moment.
Interviewer: Great. when some people think about themselves, they see some parts of themselves as deeply true, real, or authentic. If this idea resonates with you. Did you learn anything about your true nature during the process? Did you have any insights about your own authentic (or
inauthentic) self?
Participant: Yeah, I felt that I was giving my full authentic self, and I felt that I still feel that even though people change and grow, and go to who they like, you know, over time you evolve and figure out yourself that at the end of the day, wholeheartedly, this is who I am. I feel like when you're looking at this like this is what the energy is that I’m going to bring into a room. It’s kind of something that I want people to know ahead of time.
You don't get someone that's going to be quiet, and you don't get someone that's going to like stick to themselves. I'm definitely going to make some noise, and I’m definitely going to like talk about what I believe, and I'm going to create an experience for everyone, because that's something that I live by. So that's what I learned about myself or like. That's how I felt like it was so authentic to me.
Interviewer: Great, and then some people believe in ultimate meaning. This is defined as deep underlying meaning that transcends subjective personal meaning. It is about the nature of existence and identity.
It may include ideas about the significance of suffering as well as spirituality.
If this idea resonates with you, did you learn anything about ultimate meaning during the process?
Participant: It's really nice to so like my mom is an immigrant from Mexico and I don't speak to my dad at all. So there's like a lot of like generational trauma that people deal with. And there's a lot of the times where, like I kind of other people in the room won’t understand anything that I've gone through. And then, like just in general, your brain is re like your blood and brain is like wired differently because of generational trauma but being able to express that side of me that’s, Mexican with the loteria cards, and then also with the tarot in the back of the card.
I do study like curanderismo which is healing, and, like I use part I use like who I am, as well to like, heal myself, and you know others around, and like little like plants like in Earth, because everyone kept seeing plants, and I didn't know how plans fully fit in this. And I love plans, too. But I do use like plans and herbs to like to heal myself and heal others by adding that little Nopa on with the little flowers on it.
This was just like a subtle way of being like I’m there. And this is what I do.
Interviewer: Great. Thank you. and then so some people believe or perceive a reality, beyond the physical or material world.
This may include religious beliefs and experiences, such as perceived in interactions with God, that may also include mystical or transcendent experiences or interactions with spirits.
Did you have any of these kinds of experiences during the creation of this our work. Any Perceptions of reality beyond the physical world?
Participant: It wasn't during the creation. It was after the creation of this artwork. I felt like things just kept lining up, and I kept meeting people that were important to me. I met someone from a show, and she was like, oh, I’m always looking for people like that, and I said, oh here’s my business card in case you want to like, look more into it, and, I only happen to have one on me that day. We ended up following each other, and she came to one of my shows, and she had offered me a job, but like things just kind of like kept lighting up afterwards. I'll meet someone and at an event afterwards recently, and like she was one of the only people, and she's like, oh, My God! I don't have my phone with me, and she's like, I wish I had my physical like business cards. She's like, but look me up, and I gave her a business card, and she was like, oh, my God, this is what I needed. I needed something like this and then she was like, if you're ever in New York, or if you ever need a job after you graduate like, let me know.
And so, it's just kind of like little things like that that after like afterwards, things just kind of line up lined up for me, and even during the process, when or like, when I got them printed, and like they were running late by like a day, and then they gave me free ones and stuff like that, like everything just kind of kept lining up. And that's what I felt like. I was like, okay, this is like met for me.
Interviewer: Sure. How did that experience effect you as a person and your spiritual beliefs?
Participant: I'm a very big person on signs, so if things just keep getting in the way of something I know everyone's like Don't give up, but like I will because I don't think it's meant for me, and during this process, like everything just kept lining up for me. the adobe creative cloud was also like not supposed to work for me for somebody, because I was using it for school, but we were on break.
It was supposed to stop, and they kept it running for a little bit, so I was able to do it in the comfort of my own home and everything, and things just kept lining up. And so I felt like I knew it was for me.
Interviewer: Great. Thank you. I just have a few shorter follow-up questions. How old were you when you created this?
Participant: Yeah, I was 19 years old.
Interviewer: And how do you perceive the quality of this artwork?
Participant: I would say, still unfinished. I feel like it was very early work, Photoshop and early me, so I still feel like it has some time to grow and change just like I did.
Interviewer: And then, would you like to say anything more about what was going on in your own life around the time that you created the artwork.
Participant: I was going through finally seeing a therapist and getting to understand that, like things weren't my fault, and a lot of things were me figuring out.
I would call my mom and be like. Actually, you know, people are supposed to respect your boundaries and then she was learning a lot about that, too, because she was treating me the way that she was being treated, and so it was both of us going through the process of learning a bunch of things. And then I was also going through a really bad heartbreak at the time, and then being stuck in covid isolation. So, it was a lot of not just being stuck with your thoughts.
And the fact that I was able to create something that so uplifting and heartwarming is really it just makes me really happy.
Interviewer: Yeah, that was great. Thank you so much.